This post is incredibly overdue. I haven’t written for weeks and I never even wrote my PCA trip report. My life has been absolutely crazy since I got back from the Bahamas.
I found out almost two weeks ago but I didn’t want to post anything public because I still had to undergo a background check. The background check went fine, though, and now everything is ready to go! I am leaving for Vegas on February 18th and I’m playing on the 20th.
I really can’t describe how it felt to read the congratulatory email. I was in shock and so happy at the same time, I’ve never felt anything like it before! I pretty much sat here and thought, wow is this really happening?
To add to that, just a couple days later I chopped 3-ways in the $53 super turbo on Full Tilt for $14k. Talk about being a lucksack!
After the news and the score, I was shocked and excited for around four days. Then the days that followed were actually incredibly stressful as I tried to juggle my life, work, and poker. I felt really overwhelmed and was actually restless and depressed for a couple days.
I thought to myself, WTF is wrong with me? I’m running so good at life right now yet I feel like shit. What’s wrong?
I wanted to make poker a priority so that I could mentally get ready for the Big Game, but I was scared of leaving everything else in my life for after I got back from Vegas. And then we were trying to good train, bus, and theatre tickets for the March trip, and I totally couldn’t handle the stress!
Anyway it’s been a week since I started freaking out about everything, and I’m fine now. I decided to leave everything else for after my trip to Vegas so that I have more time to focus on poker. Deciding to do this has really helped me mentally.
Thinking about going on TV doesn’t scare me, and playing poker in a big game doesn’t scare me, but putting them together is a different animal. Although saying that I’m “scared” is definitely wrong. Worried that I might play horribly while everyone can see my hole cards and KNOW I’m playing horribly … this is probably more accurate. It’s a silly thing to worry about and obviously all I can do is just play my best and hopefully have a great time in the process. I am working on not being nervous or anxious and so far it has been just fine.
I have done a lot of little things to prepare myself for the show. I feel incredibly lucky to have had help from some wonderful people at FTR – I am so grateful to you guys. I have one more week to get myself prepared, and I just plan on making the most of it.
Thank you also to everyone that has congratulated and supported me so far. Thanks for the advice and well wishes.
Continuation of epic run good one time?!